Eight years

I remember this day, eight years ago, like it was yesterday. Except I was on copious amounts of morphine and I was recovering from a major abdominal surgery. I had my little boy eight years ago today and that was hands down one of the best days of my life. It was also the most monumental. I remember looking down at that tiny little face and it just took my breath away. I felt myself transform in that moment into a mother. I felt like I was having this grand metamorphosis. It was the start of me raising and shaping a tiny human so that one day he may be fit for society. I remember looking around me after having this revelation and wondering how in the hell the world still looks the same when my entire life had just changed so much.

Boy let me tell you, laying in that bed, I never for a second thought raising my son was going to be easy, but nothing could have prepared me for what it was really going to be like. There are no books, articles, or ancient scripts that can put into words just how much your babies can rock your world. I was not prepared for the first time he smiled, I swear angels were singing. The first time he walked, you could have knocked me over with a feather because I was just so stunned. When he started speaking I never thought I had heard a sound quite as sweet. There are so many joyous times for me to look back on and it still makes my heart so happy. But there are truly hard times too. The first time he was sick just broke my heart, there was nothing I could do for him and I just had to watch him suffer. I never realized how much I could miss him until he went on a trip with his grandparents for the first time. And I never thought my heart could break into so many pieces when he told me he hated me once. There is nothing I would change about him or any of the things we have experienced together. They have shaped him into this little person with such a large personality.

Every year when his birthday rolls around it startles me a little bit more. I thought five was hard because he was leaving me to go to school, but eight just kind of took my breath away. I feel like it’s just going to hit me harder every year because he is growing up so fast and my little baby is turning into this wonderful young man right before my eyes. I am so proud of him everyday. I love you so much, Brody Bretton.

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