It’s 8pm on a Sunday and I am bleary eyed and irritable. Never in my life have I been more excited to be woken up by my alarm in the morning because it means Spring Break is finally over. Let me preface this by saying that I love my seven year old child unconditionally. I would move mountains for that boy. He is the one that made me a mommy and I will be forever grateful. But damnit, I’m exhausted. I’ve been a mother of two now for a little over a year and I know it’s work having both of my kids, but I forget just how much work when I don’t have a seven hour school day to break up the chaos that only two little boys can bring. When my kids are together for extended periods of time, they just feed off each other’s insanity whilst simultaneously leeching every ounce of energy my poor body possesses. And dear god the sheer amount of food my 50lb bean pole can stuff in his skinny little tummy is astounding. I really thought other moms of the world were exaggerating when they said their boys ate them out of house and home. They are literally human garbage disposals that feed off of goldfish and pizza rolls.
I tried to be proactive this year and did some research on activities to do in the home to entertain my son while on his break from school. They all include a shit ton of glitter, slime, or uncooked pasta. Wanna guess who was interested in any of that shit? Not my kid. Instead I was met with, “okay, mom, obligatory craft time is over, can I go play Ghost Recon now? Or watch other children play with toys on YouTube?” Fine. But that only occupies him for an hour. When I tell him screen time is over and he has to amuse himself with his collection of toys that would put Toys R Us to shame, I’m met with deep gutteral sighs and massive amounts of eye rollings. When did kids stop liking toys? Insert cliche statement here: when I was his age I played outside until the street lights came on and only had a rusty can and some string to play with; tetanus was just a happy bonus! So I would get down on the floor with him and his various action figures and army men and listen to him tell me for 20 minutes that I’m playing “wrong” until I finally get so frustrated I want to chuck Darth Vader across the room. This has been my life on an endless loop for the last week. Not to mention caring for the 14 month old who must investigate everything myself or his brother is doing and cry if I’m not within a five foot radius of him. It’s been a real special time.
Do you want to know what has gotten me through this trying time? Gin. I whole heartedly recommend my method of therapy for all you mom’s out there who have just had enough at the end of the day. And if nothing else it makes clean up time after the kids are in bed much more enjoyable.