I am 100% certain that if you are reading this and you have kids, you have at least one tale of your kids pooping or vomiting in such a way that it is memorable. If you have children and this hasn’t happened to you, rest assured, it totally will!
Location location location
My 7 y/o didn’t have too many instances where he painted with poop like the typical child. What was different about him, was where he would poop. When we lived in California, we lived on base. Their housing is basically like big housing developments with condos squished together. In our row we had four condos, behind us was a big parking area and then another row of four condos. We were very close with our neighbors and we used to hang out constantly in our garage. One day we were having a get together and our son was running around doing his thing. He reappeared a few minutes later and proceeded to tell us that he pooped in our neighbor’s yard (he was three at the time). All of us were pretty flabbergasted and didn’t believe him until we collectively walked to her side yard and found that he did, in fact, take a steamy one in her yard. This action was repeated at my in-laws house this year (at age seven), he said that’s what Marines do. I guess old habits die hard! He has also pooped in a bathroom trash can, a laundry basket, and the back of his closet. It is stressful in the moment, but absolutely hilarious when we look back on it.